Five questions any leader should answer

PROPER leadership plays a pivotal role. It is the heart of any company, country or church. If ever there is to be a worst scarcity, it would be the absence of leadership. Leadership motivates people to face the future with expectation. True and great leaders are those that leave a legacy. Companies are chocked with people that are concerned about position not leadership.

They will go to university to get an MBA just to get into power. As you step into their office the aura that you get is “I’m the boss here!” In true reality, if we remove the “b” in that sentence and replace it with “l” it would read: “I’m the loss here!” As a leader or someone who aspires to be one, take a stock of yourself today and answer to the following questions:

Am I relevant?
Robin Sharma, a leadership expert and author states: “The old model of leadership is obsolete. Now for an organisation to truly excel in these times of deep change everyone — at every level — must show leadership and do their best work.” Times are changing; people are now exposed to so much information. The question is: How do you continue to influence such people to continue under your instruction?

Where am I taking people to?
A leader must have a clear mental picture of what they want to achieve. Where are you taking them to? The writer of Proverbs says: “Where there is no vision, the people perish . . .” (Proverbs 29: 18) The vision must be clear to the originator and also be clearly spelt to those who should execute it. Secondly, the vision should be bigger than the leader so that it does not die with him, but affect and impact next generations.

What solutions am I bringing?
Leadership is an assignment to humanity. We answer to a need by providing a solution. This happens by inspiring the people we are leading to work towards a cause. Steve Jobs, of Apple legacy, saw technological need for the future and he provided a solution. A leader is a person with an assignment to bring a solution to human needs and organisational dreams.

Am I inventive enough?
When Jesus Christ juxtaposed the old wine skins with the new wine skins (Matthew 9: 17), he was showing a new leadership prototype that he was bringing up. A leader should not be content with the current situation if he does not want to expire. They should be flexible for change. A leader should not enjoy the current state of affairs to an extent that he forgets the future. Neither should he be overwhelmed by challenges not to envision the opportunity ahead.

Do I have capacity?
A leader with capacity does not feel threatened by subordinates he leads. In fact, Myles Monroe says: “Leadership is your capacity to make yourself unnecessary.” The leader should have the capacity big enough that he can’t hold it alone. The leader should be open-minded and humble to pour himself into other people. If the organisation you are leading always needs your presence, you have failed in leadership. Groom, mentor or coach other people to be as you are and even better.

Parting point: John Quincy Adams once said: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, do more and become more, you are a leader”. It’s time to lead people to bigger and brighter heights. It’s time to unleash our leadership prowess and potential!

Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and motivational speaker. Tel: 0772 581 918.

Jonah Nyoni. All rights reserved 2013. This article was initially published in The Southern Eye. http://www.southerneye.co.zw/2013/09/08/five-questions-leader-answer/.

10 things I should have known before I got married!

A successful relationship is based on what we put into it and not so much of what the other party brings to the table.  Like any other choices we make in life, marriage has a greater say of what will become of us.  Today, let’s walk the less travelled road of things most people should have known before they got married.

Point 1: Sex never ceases to thrill

Sex is always great but we should not let it drive us into ditches! Talking to a lady recently she said she had intercourse with her boyfriend thinking that it will help them fortify their love, but regrettably the opposite became reality. Simply put, the cake was cut before time and because there wasn’t so much of a prize to get it, they just decided there could be a better one and they walked away! Sex never ceased to be a thrill, but it is best in the right context.

Point 2: Living a lie kept me insecure

Living a lie always had a question tag; What if one found out the truth about me or what I did? Living a lie makes you to look for more lies to cover-up for other lies. First be true to yourself and you won’t struggle to be true to others. Don’t bring false imagery and flattery into an affair.

Point 3: My looks where never the problem.

I never chose how I should look like, but I definitely choose how I felt and thought of myself. Outer beauty is inadequate until you realize, and work on your inner beauty. It’s a rule in any facet of life, you first become successful internally.  The best you can tell yourself is that I am the best and anyone who comes into my life is just coming to complement the best that already exists in me.

Point 4: Groupthink wasn’t all for me

People, especially peers or even parents have their own perspectives of love, of who we really are which is not entirely true. I vividly, remember one close relative once said I will amount to nothing in life. Those words gnawed my deepest inner being! The tide turned, when I knew I am a great asset the world needs!

Point 5: Inner healing was necessary

Everyone has a past and at times we use our past experiences to judge our current realities. The past wounds, when brought into a relationship may cause pain to the other party that doesn’t deserve to feel it. I shouldn’t have brought my past pains into my relationship and my judgment would not have been that skewed. That nearly bogged me in my past more than I should have been focusing on my future.

Point 6: Rationale is better

If only I was taught or leant how to control my body and emotions by using my head at a tender age I will have evaded most mistakes I made. Your body, your feelings, and hormones should never supersede the power of your mind! 

Point 7: No one is my dump site!

There are some relationships where only one partner is responsible for dousing every fire that flares. In every negative emotion, you expect your partner to bail you out. If only I learnt that before time that my spouse was not a dump site I would not have burdened them with the baggage I carried. It could be a bad mouth, nagging, sour emotions and negative attitudes. Work it out and never allow it to mar your marriage.

Point 8: I should have known how to serve.

It’s easy to spot someone who is going to be great in life; they serve. The best marriages are when husband and wife are of service to each other. Learn to shed excess power!

Point 9: When being right is not right at all

There are times when being right is not that important, but forgiveness is the best. I did not forgive because I thought I was right. If God dealt with us in relationship with the sins we committed, some of us would be outcasts. He draws us closer because of his forgiving love. The only time I saw the necessity of forgiveness is when I needed to be pardoned of the wrong I did; but why didn’t I do that first?

Parting point- 10: Learning never stops

I should have known at my tender age that I have infinite capabilities so would be the person I will marry. I would not have wasted my time doing some trivialities. I would not have limited myself; neither was I going to put limit- tags on other people.

Jonah Nyoni is an Author, Success Coach and Motivational Speaker.

Tel:  0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za

All Rights Reserved – 2013. This article was written for the Southern Eye Newspaper.

You can also read this article on: http://www.southerneye.co.zw/2013/08/28/10-things-known-got-married/

Web: http://www.jonahnyoni.wordpress.com

The best is ahead!

Don’t let bad situations detect your pace, direct your course and douse your verve for life! Despite how the current situation is, you are the best candidate to remake it so as to shape your future. Some people have said that if life gives you lemons turn that into lemonade.  Life in general has its twists and turns, the good and the great. Most people have no problem handing the good, but have a challenge in handling the negatives that darkens their lives.

Success is what most people, if not all people would want to attain in their lifetime, but that does not come freely. This could be either in marriage, money matters, career endeavors, in your business. It all takes proper decision, drive, determination, discipline that has a guided action plan.

All biographies of great people I have read have shown that failure is part of the success journey. The only mistake we have been taught, especially through our education curricular, is that we shouldn’t make mistakes. In fact we are punished for making a mistake, instead of being taught how to handle a mistake and even learn out of it. This makes people not to attempt certain things because they are afraid to fail.

 A friend, author and life coach, Rabison Shumba in his writings says “Realise that life has seasons; it will not always be terrible. Remain with the HOPE that things will turn around ONE day. If not today then five years from now. If not five years then fifteen years. Persevere in the face of imminent hardship.  Know that if you survived the worst moments then you can still survive whatever phase you face.”

 The bible puts it like this: “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (James 1:2-4, The Message Bible in Contemporary Language)

 You are the architect of your destiny. You definitely control your success; take every hard mile with a smile until to hit the finish line. The inner being has more to say than our outside circumstances. Lessons derived from failure/ hardship:

• Learn from mistakes: See every fall as a positive lesson in life. Don’t lean on but learn from your mistakes. The greatest mistake you can do for yourself is to stay forever bogged in your mistakes and forget that the future holds more.
• Use your head: Don’t make decisions out of a feeling or an emotion. An action done in seconds because of the upsurge in anger could cost you fifteen years of your life.
• Use your heart: Help other people either fulfill their destiny or get out of their current situations and they will not forget you the rest of their lives. Plant the seeds of things that what you want to see come back to your own life.
• Use your tongue: Speak of what you want to become and not what you are in. The worst thing that could cripple your good future is to see your current bad or weak state as the final determinate of your destiny. That’s were some people have parked their lives in.
• See opportunity in hardships: We are rewarded of the problems we solve in life for others or corporations. The bigger the challenge you solve, the fatter the rewards.
• Be polished by hardships: The problems or bad character you fail to conquer while in the desert will decide how long you will stay there. We can’t graduate to another level if we fail the current stage. Challenges are not there to kill us but to polish our protruding traits in us.
• Package your self for success: I have come to learn that I feel more comfortable in certain garments. This makes me exude confidence and walk with a spring. I feel like the best and that has attracted the best too. People usually address us the way we are dressed.

Parting Point: Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you”. Recharge your inner being with the thought that there are better things ahead. Locked deep down in the inside of you are great and deep reservoirs of power and potential.

Jonah Nyoni is an Author, success coach and motivational speaker.

Tel:  0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za

Web: http://www.jonahnyoni.wordpress.com

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Make your marriage love tick!

 

Today some people regret the thought that they are married, they have all the money that they need, properties and children, but its seems there is something that doesn’t work well. This had brought nightmarish experiences. Most people interviewed by the writer were open to say that they wish their marriage was like the first time they were dating as boyfriend and girlfriend. Days can go by without anyone smiling to the other, but sharing the same bed.  This eventually leads to sourness, ruthlessness, rudeness and even divorce. Let’s explore some seven points that could make your marriage a mini-paradise:

Point one: Don’t remake your partner

In the book, The Big you, I have clearly pointed out that “difference does not mean enmity, but diversity”. Most people in marriage want the other partner to act and live up to their expectations, which in most cases don’t work. We all come in the whole picture with our differences. Leland Foster in his book, Growing together in the Family says “success in marriage is much more than a matter of finding the right person; it is also a matter of being the right person”.  Remember: you have your peculiar ways of being happy and so is your partner so allow and help them to leave up to that.

Point Two: Nagging is as cancer

Some people are so nagging; you wish you quit their presence. Have you ever asked yourselves why some men would choose to knock off late at work and spend less time with their wives? Have you really asked yourself why most people would choose to waste their night away in a pub, club, church etc? They are so tired of their talkative, jealous, nagging spouses.

Point three: Learn to say a hearty “Thank you”

As a married man how would you feel if your wife tells you that a colleague told her how well they are dressed while you did not do so? Learn to appreciate your wife. Don’t be hesitant to tell your spouse how important they are in your marriage and to your happiness. Appreciate the beauty of your wife and tell her that you love her. From experience, what men are looking for in a woman is someone that will make them feel superior. Why not make it so?

 Point four: Little things do matter

Pay close attention to little things. At all times, show your partner that you are thinking of them. Give them a call, send an SMS. Buy her flowers and surprise her with small things like a chocolate. I hear most African men saying “Hmmm!” Try this it works! Your wife will feel like an angel. Women are so particular about their birthdays and anniversaries. A year or so back my wife, just out of the blue, asked me if I knew her birthday! I was literally stuck and blank and I think I was not the only men. That led me to know all important dates in our lives and that has added a dose of honey to the whole picture of our marriage.

Point Five: Stop criticizing

Most married people are good at picking the bad things about their spouse. They even go to an extent of reprimanding, criticising or calling them names. This changes nothing, but makes the other partner more defensive and even offensive too. What does that help? Nothing! Stop faultfinding and trying to measure your wife or husband with your own experience or expectations.

Point Six: Courtesy brings warmth

A story is told of a church woman who does all the best when she receives the clergy entourage at her home. She kneels does when handing food to the Pastor, she washes their hands with warm water and gives them a wiping towel. Sadly, to the husband she is a different person all together, all those niceties are not done for him and he now resents the sight of Pastors at his home. Wives, learn to be courteous to your husband as you would be to strangers. Shun rudeness, insults and wounding words. Stop being a demanding woman, most men just love peace and love at home.  To every married man if you start barking to your wives and kids, to them you just become a monster instead of a great and a good Dad. One young lady was telling me that, when their father arrives from work in the evening all kids stop watching TV and they retire to their beds! Why?

 Point Seven: Sex is the chocolate coating to the whole marriage institute

Sex is the greatest thrill that God created for married people. Depriving the other partner of it can eventually lead the other partner to hunt it from elsewhere. Learn how best you could satisfy your partner in sex. There are times when you feel like you don’t want sex but your partner is on fire for it; sacrifice and have it if there aren’t any medical complications to it.

 Parting Point: Don’t live everything to chance

Don’t leave your marriage to chance by thinking that everything will work automatically, but make an intentional effort to make it work. Never undervalue the significance of small attention or action. The so called “small trivialities” are at the bottom of most marital unhappiness. Work it now!

Jonah Nyoni is an Author, Success Coach and Motivational Speaker.

Tel:  0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za

Web: http://www.jonahnyoni.wordpress.com

 

What`s Your Drive?

Are you ready to die for what you believe?  Do you get fulfillment from what you are pursuing as your passion? Doing something that you are not passionate about is like the experience of being in a marriage with someone you do not have a feeling for. In the book, The Big You, I have said “Know your potential, pursue it, maintain it, upgrade it and you will definitely explode into your destiny”

Three Potent “P”s that I want you to think about:

First P: Purpose: We are created for a purpose and great achievements. The Power, function and purpose of a thing are the reasons why it was invented and it stands to reason that God created you for a purpose. Generally, if one does not know their purpose or does not act their purpose they are simply crouching down to the value of chaff that is tossed to and fro by the wind and does not get anywhere. Chaff does not have a destiny.

Dr. Myles Munroe (2001) in his book: Understanding The Purpose And Power Of Men says: “Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”. There are some people who are specialising in doing wrong things right. Why? Simply because they are pursuing things they are not supposed to.  They are not getting any satisfaction out of it, but they persist doing it. People need to know their real zone where they will dominate. At times ignorance on how a thing should work is tragic and it leads to the abortion of dreams.

Talking to Jeremiah, God said, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto nations”. If I could say it in today’s language, God was saying, before your mother was pregnant with you in the womb, my mind was pregnant with you as an idea and you were wired with instructions on how you should work and even before you came out I approved you to function in different facets of life. God knew the purpose of Jeremiah more fully than Jeremiah himself.

Second P: Precious: Everyone is precious and of great value. See yourself as that. You should not allow yourself to be called names. We do not need to find identity from looks, money, media, make-ups, peers and power. Everything, be it a product or creation, is always identified with its source and its ability is mainly dependent on its source. We were created by God and in his image and after His likeliness. This alone makes us possess the spiritual and the chemical make up to dominate and have creative power that God has put in us. The best yardstick to measure against your potential is not what other people have accomplished but how God has uniquely crafted you and the deposits of greatness that He has put in you. You are your own competitor. The best person you compete with is the seed that God has put in you.

Third P: Prospect: We can make it in life. We can be what we have always dreamt to be. We need to be broad in our thinking. We do not need to think outside the box since there is no box anywhere. This is a brimless world that has always needed limitless brains. The best days lie ahead. Your past successes are little compared to what you can still achieve. The past might have bruised and battered you, but still the best days are coming. Look deep into what you are carrying; you are a God’s master piece and you carry great reservoirs of potential!

Parting Point: A famous saying by Mahatma Gandhi goes: “A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes”.  In life, people who think positively achieve what the odds define as impossibilities. Real self discovery makes one achieve real results and be counted with the greats of this world.  Discover yourself! Be your real self and do not try to be someone else. Begin to see potential, power and prosperity deep inside your heart and this will propel you to the crest of the wave. Everyone has seeds of greatness that need to be sown so that they can spur up and bring bright results.

Jonah Nyoni is an Author, Success Coach and Motivational Speaker.

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Paradigm Shift!

 

 

Investing towards your head is more important than any other investment a person would make their life time. Most people are much concerned about their looks, make-ups, material possessions and their outside pulchritude in general, there is no problem in that, but remember the minds counts the most. Companies are also not exempted from this thought line, they have done all there is to do, but have forgot their employees’ need of mindset expansion. As anyone would plan for their daily upkeep, every individual should have a Personal Growth Program (PGP) and so are corporations.

 

If any one was to achieve any substantial success and significant results they should simply change their paradigm. Some people are already saying; Jonah is it that easy? I have tried everything in my ability, but I found myself kissing the dust? Spare me your time; this could be the code you needed to unlock greatness in you.

 

Bob Proctor, speaking at a recent VEMMA Convention 2013, said that our paradigm “is the mental program that has almost exclusive control over our habitual behavior…and almost all our behavior is habitual”. In simplified terms a paradigm is like the software programme that controls your behavior and habits that will then lead to specific results.

 

In order to shape your future you have to change your paradigm. This is all hinged in your own choices. In most cases, choice and not chance determines success. Success is a process and not an event. Success is a series of choices that we choose to act upon daily. What we see on the podium as results, is what we practiced in our everyday routine.  We make choices in our everyday lives. Life is not essentially controlled by what happens to us, but what happens inside us; in the paradigm.

 

Some people attribute their failures to other people, the economy downfall and the bad weather. In most cases you will only discover that about 90 % of our results come from our thought pattern or outlook. That is true, be it in sales, marketing, business and personal success. I repeat this as a re-phrase:  Life is not regulated by what happens to us but by what happens in us.

 

We can choose to work now and be paid later or play now and pay later. That’s Choice! We choose our friends and some people have said association determines assimilation or who you stick with has a major input in shaping your paradigm. Choose your friends well! We chose who to marry; make your best choice! In my quest for success, I have found six important factors about choices have been instrumental in shifting my paradigm:

 

• Success is a matter of choice not just some mere coincidence.
• Your life today is a sum total of choices you made yesterday. If you have had a maze of failures review your choices and thoughts.
• Your choices are the major determinants of who you eventually become in the future. You can not harbor thoughts poverty and expect to be rich. You can’t birth anything else other than    what you are pregnant with.
• Most great people that choose to succeed have a positive psychology towards success despite the dark valleys of setbacks in their pursuit of greatness.
• What you have in your mind determines your world-view and your choices. Visualize your wealth or success in your mind even before you can have that in a tangible form.
• Have a daily Personal Growth Programme (PGP) which will help you develop your perception, persona and your God-given purpose.

 

You can’t climb a ladder with your hands in your pocket. Chose to work and walk towards your destiny. Moreover, work on the positive development of your paradigm. Being born poor is not so much of a question because it’s not by choice, but the most important factor is the legacy that you leave behind when you are long gone because of choices you made whilst alive.

 

Parting Point: The Success author, James Allen once said; “All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts”. Clearly, all the best result we can achieve and possibly leave for other generations to come is never accidental, but it’s created, coined and crafted in our cognitive sphere. If we shift our paradigms; success is certain! Choose to succeed and see you on the crest!

 

A winning attitude

Success needs to be activated, nurtured and attracted. The success stories we see around us first existed in the mind sphere of individuals. Research has shown that, what you constantly think about you ultimately bring about. In that vein, what is impressed in the mind will be eventually expressed. To alter your future you simply need to change your mind set.

 

On the driveway to destiny, the most dangerous thing to do is stick your eye on the rearview mirror! Our past could have been made or marred by mistakes, but we can’t change anything about it; it’s all gone! The past could have been tainted, tarnished and twisted, but one thing I like is that we can use our “now time” to determine our courses of destiny. Your future is on a pure platter and it only needs to be plied towards by passionately, patiently, purposefully and positively planning for it, not forgetting to pay the prize by means of action.

 

I think failure is not the most dangerous thing on earth, but failing to rise up again after you have fallen! It is so unsafe to think that failure is your final fatal destination. You just need to rethink on your life and have the best picture of what you want to be.

 

The innovative mind cannot fully function if you are always returning or referring to the rubbish bin for new things. What does the bin carry? Fix your eyes into the future, just reflect, but never revert into the past!

 

To put much thought on the negative circumstances makes a person fail and falter, but confidence in the positive propels you to the top! For example, having failed a subject at school does not mean we are going to fail again, but that’s how most people have programmed their subconscious mind. They always think they will never amount to anything in life.

 

Generally, going to the top is against the law of gravity, but faith is the fervent force that’s able to keep you afloat. I have known it to be the only force able to oppose the laws of nature. Faith is a fire strong enough making it impossible for you to be burnt-out by external fires or buried under high waters of failure.

 

An empty life is not defined by the absence of money, but the lack of purpose. Sadly, “The poorest man in the world is a man without a dream. The most frustrated man in the world is the man with a dream that never becomes reality”, wrote Dr Myles Munroe. Here a five means to keep you motivated for success:

 

Five things to keep you motivated!

 

Passion– be passionate about life and success. Look forward to better days ahead. There is nothing so demoralising like a person that has lost the drive, determination and direction for their life.

Purpose– passion without purpose is as bad as trying to shoot an unseen target. This is what is called a misdirected intention. This is purely wasted purpose. Know your purpose because where purpose is not known, abuse is unavoidable. For example, we can use nostrils to breathe out cigarette smoke, but that not it true purpose.

Planning– plan your course. The builder will always finish the structure on paper before doing the actual construction. The opposite is a disaster which most people do. Brian Tracy in his the book, 21 Success Secrets of Self-made Millionaires, says 97% of adults have not written goals for their lives.  By writing your goals you will have a competitive over everyone who does not write them and helps you stick to your purpose.

Plying– Ply the route of your dreams. Vision without venture is void. It is as good as writing policies that will never be implemented. Put your goals into action!

Positivity– the route to greatness gets rutted and rough at times. As a result, the faint-hearted give up to the grip of mediocrity. You just need to stay focused, fired and fervent.

 

Parting point: Paul J. Meyer puts it like this: “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon…must inevitably come to pass!” I believe you are unstoppable; it’s all in the mind!

Jonah Nyoni is an Author, Success Coach and Motivational Speaker.

Tel:  0772 581 918. Email: jonah@classicmail.co.za